SATURDAY, 1/20/2001, 12:58pm HST by Penfold
The "Yuppie Out" Edition

My first paycheck from my new job finally came, so it's time for me to be like Raul and yuppie out. Yes, a bottle of wine is in order here.

Answer: They are all miserably failed remakes of sodas. Read the whole DailyRadar.com story here.

Seem like the price of the 12/1032 genuine and rebranded Plextor CD-RW drives have been falling lately? Maybe this is the reason, 16x and BURN-PROOF. Now if they would just bundle some decent software with the drive.

Looks like Salon.com is looking into the latest Liberal trend, comparing W. to a chimp. Check out their story about it here.

Genital Origami

Puppetry of the Penis is a mind blowing cabaret show consisting of two men Simon Morley and David Friend who manipulate their genitals into various shapes, objects and landmarks.

This ancient form of genital origami had its debut at the Melbourne Comedy Festival in 1998, where it was received by rave reviews;

Seems like two Brazillian Dr.s are having a dispute over the average Brazillian penii (plural for penis for the Latin deprived) size and the usefulness of big penii. Examine the story here. (I just like saying penii)

Imagine heading to Diamond Head Video (or your local pr0n shop) and renting some adult videos. The watching it and realizing it was barely even Baywatch quality. That's the problem some British Wankers (yes, wankers) are having. Read about their plight here.

FRIDAY, 1/19/2001, 11:30am HST by Raul

I forget where I saw this before, probably a link from Stileproject (not that I read SP often, honest). Basically, this guy is out to prove that Nads, as they say on the infomercial, is safe enough to eat. It's worth a look for the hilarious picture spread alone.

For those people who actual read this article (does anyone read Raul's posts anyways?), did you notice these lines:

I need something to boost my bravery. I need to hear Stan Bush's Dare. Oh, fuck it. I'm ready.

This from Tef: Dirty proverbs is a site that defines all those little euphemisms and codenames you've heard (and I'm sure a whole shitload you've never heard) that relate to everyone's favorite activity. Tef's favorite is bottle rocket. Mine might be smuggling a yo-yo. Beware, though, some of this stuff is downright nasty (see: the mung)!

While I have never been one to buy into the whole "-orb" craze (bought an Alpha myself), Insanehardware reports that the Hercules NV20 will sport a blue orb cooler, appropriately sized, of course. What is interesting, though, is the rumor that NV20s will be shipping in February.

More of what's significant in the world of hockey:

• The San Jose Sharks have likely lost star center Vincent Damphousse for the rest of the season to a shoulder injury sustained in Mondays' game against the Detroit Red Wings. He'll had surgery yesterday.
• Don't forget ... Sunday, Feb. 4 is the NHL all-star game, to be played in Denver, Colo.
• Tonight: Pitt vs. Dallas!

This month's installation of eating out features two more specialties from Kobe steak house:

• The Kobe spider roll is a maki-style sushi made with soft-shell crab. The crab is deep-fried and artistically presented (read: the claws hang out, as you can see in the pic, if nothing else). While not a particularly strong taste, it is quite rich. Shoyu (soy sauce for the ethnically impaired) does work with this one. Price: $10.95 for a 6-piece roll
• The Kobe Dynamite is a specialty dish that consists of scallops, shrimp, mushrooms and cucumbers baked in a shoyu-mayonnaise sauce. You can't see it in the picture because it has foil over it, but it is actually served on an oyster shell (or some bivalve shell). It's one of the cheapest things you can get at Kobe ($8.75) and with a side order of rice can be a meal. As long as you don't mind mayo, it's pretty darn good.

THURSDAY, 1/18/2001, 8:58pm HST by Penfold
The "And Slacketh Hard" Edition

Yes, I slacketh hard, too much playing my the new cd-rw drive. Looks like all of us have finally gotten them in.

Just when you though it couldn't get any weirder, this comes along.

Brick Films is devoted to the art of the Lego movie. I can recommend the 2001 and the Star Wars trailer. Beware, not for the bandwidth impaired (better have broadband or you're going to be waiting for a while). Check it out here.

DailyRadar has an article about the cheesiest Dr. Pepper imitation sodas around. Check it out here.

Your online source for pork rinds. Bet Raul was wishing he could get some microwave ones right now. Check out the story here.

Hmmm, this personal massager looks suspiciously like something you could get from here.

Foxnews has a recap of the whole year of their SexFiles here. Some of the stories might look suspiciously familiar.

Did anyone notice that almost everything I posted had a pic? No, didn't think so.

THURSDAY, 1/18/2001, 2:45am HST by Raul
The Late J edition

This week is chugging along somewhat slowly.

So me, SeannieSean and Penfold got ourselves Plextor PX-1210A's. These are 12x-10x-32x CD burners with burn-proof anti-coaster technology. It really does work, you can do other disk operations till the cows come home and the burn will go happily along its way. I dialed out with the modem, started a multifile download, and moved or deleted several hundred files. I ICQ'd and searched Napster. The drive laughed at me and said, "Piffle." Despite my efforts, it produced a CD.

The deal was from Outpost.com. $239 gets you a drive and 50 CDRs. They ship free "overnight" although for the second straight time, the package didn't make it here overnight. To their credit, they do deliver fairly early the next day.

I also put in a Promise Ultra ATA100 card. It makes the response time a little faster, but it is nowhere near as noticeable as the ATA33-to-ATA66 jump, just like everyone says. However, it IS indeed faster, and as we all know, faster is better. Next stop: RAID.

Here's something to look at. It's Atlanta Thrashers' Darcy Hordichuk, right, almost ending up in the bench after a collision with Anaheim Mighty Ducks' Vitaly Vishnevski. This was last night. The Ducks won 5-2.

Here is an artist's rendition of the Residensea, a floating island of a cruise ship, which will be built soon. For a couple spare million you can buy a condo on board and live on the ship as it makes a perpetual cruise to the world's best ports. Now that's some serious leisure activity.

WEDNESDAY, 1/17/2001, 1:00pm HST by Raul
The "Penfold slacketh off from work" edition

Well maybe some of you have seen this picture before of twin 13-year-old brothers that run a rebel faction in Myanmar called "God's Army." Dig that stogie. Well, yesterday, Luther and Johnny Htoo -- and 14 other comrades -- turned themselves into the Thai government, still smokin' it up. That kid's got a serious tobacco problem.

For all the wonderful details, check out the Iwon bit here.

Lemieux joins all-star team

NEW YORK -- Pittsburgh Penguins center Mario Lemieux, a three-time All-Star Most Valuable Player and owner of the All-Star record for points in one game, has been named to the North America All-Stars for the 51st NHL All-Star Game presented by Nortel Networks, Sunday, Feb. 4 in Denver (2:30 p.m. ET, ABC, CBC, SRC).

Well, this will not be happening for a while in California -- the state's 140-year-old practice of stocking high mountain lakes with trout fingerling has been put on hold as scientists investigate evidence that the trout have been eating two species of tadpoles, causing precipitous declines in populations of those two species of frogs.

The Reverend, possibly one of the world's greatest 3DFX apologists, has posted a post-op interview with Gary Tarolli, one of the founding members of the now-all-but-defunct 3DFX. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Palm has released Palm Desktop 4.0. Aside from changes to the visual interface, it has added some functionality that makes the upgrade worthwhile.

Strictly content for motocross junkies. You know who you are.

Ewwwwww

TEHRAN (Reuters) -- A 20-year-old Iranian man has married a 77-year-old virgin in a village in the east of the country, newspapers said Wednesday.

Also from Iwon: wet toilet paper.

TUESDAY, 1/16/2001, 11:45am HST by Raul
The Out Till 4am edition

I must repent and make up for my shitty postings as of late.

This from a forwarded email from someone I haven't seen in years (but may very well see more often now). This page mirrors a nice bedtime story for America about a little monkey named George.

LEFT: I've heard of sleeping on the job, but sleeping in the goal? Actually this is Eddie Belfour making a save while stuck in his own goal last week against the Detroit Red Wings. Detroit ended up winning, 3-2.

RIGHT: Now this is a nasty beef. It's Jiri Fischer of the Red Wings squaring off with Scott Thornton of the San Jose Sharks last night in San Jose. The question is, did Fischer get that nasty laceration from the fight, or did it cause the fight? Latex gloves, anyone? Something tells me he'll be wearing a visor for a little bit.

In other hockey news:

• The Pittsburgh Penguins, who recently acquired left winger (and former alcoholic) Kevin Stevens, beat the stumbling Anaheim Mighty Ducks, who are really hurting without center Steve Rucchin and winder Paul Kariya.
• Well the All-Star game voting is over, and the Avs placed four players -- Joe Sakic, Peter Forsberg, Ray Bourque and Patrick Roy.

So, what do you do when you're in Russia (Siberia to be exact), where temps have recently hit -40 degrees (C and F, remember the formulaic crossover point from physics?), 19 people have died from hypothermia, 114 have been hospitalized -- and your car is too f'in cold to start? Bust out the blowtorch and heat that sucker up!

The winner of Tef's "best intro page for a Web site:" William Shatner's personal Web site.

Well there's a new field in town -- it's right by the Keehi boat launch we always use. For years, we've been speculating about the viability of a field in town. Well now, we will find out. It's run by the infamous Brandon Cayetano, son of Gov. Ben Cayetano. Brandon used to run TAG, the first commercial paintball field on Oahu. The ironic part, is that we've been eyeing up this piece of land for a while now and thinking "That would be a perfect place for paintball." Heck, we even went there and did some target shooting before. Anyway, hit up the Star-Bulletin story here.

So last Friday, I get in to work and lo and behold, a new computer has been gifted to me! It's a spiffy new G4, complete with jelly keyboard and bubble mouse. Impressions: I don't know the processor speed, but in my experience, any G4 is worlds faster than any G3, let alone the old desktop model I was using before. I'm still using the same 20" Multiscan HG, but it looks nicer -- maybe the old G3's graphics chip was dying. The drive system is way faster on the G4, and I believe it has a DVD-ROM =). New G4s come with the aforementioned Apple optical "bubble mouse." While it is an improvement over the G3/iMac "hockey puck" mouse, I wish Apple would get a clue and stop trying to be so different with their mice. A normal fucking button would have been better than this silly "whole top of the mouse is a button" business.

Anyway, that was the high point of my Friday. Little did I know at the time that I would be spending the next 11 hours getting all too familiar with that machine. The faster processor and more memory (192MB vs. 96MB in the old one) helped keep crashes to a minimum that are caused by just working the horrible Apple memory management too hard. But the network-related crashes are still a problem.

MONDAY, 1/15/2001, 7:58pm HST by Penfold
The "Picking Up the Slack" Edition

Seannie, Gary, and I just picked a bunch of oranges, so if you want, tell me.

CatToke

GREENPORT, N.Y -- Deputies say they received a picture showing the man holding the cat by the head and forcing its nose and mouth into the opening of the bong, which is a water pipe commonly used to smoke pot.

If you read our previous post with the pics of W. compared to a monkey, here's where it came from.

Iraq agrees to donate about $100 million to poor americans. Devour the story here.

For all those SETI fiends out there, this is how it works from the inside.

Do a few hundred kegels a day and you'll become the sexual equivalent of Arnold. Read the story here.

MONDAY, 1/15/2001, 1:45pm HST by Raul
The mysterious hangover post

Out of time, but I'll throw up at least one thing for you to look at.

Election humor's getting old, so I better get this up.

SUNDAY, 1/14/2001, 2:58pm HST by Penfold
The "Tide Chart" Edition

We're currently trying to get a weekly tide chart working. WE have a good lead, look for it soon.

Hockey for the week of 1/14/01 for those of us not lucky enough to have 9 channels of satellite hockey. Looks like a full plate of hockey this week except for Tues and Thurs.

• ESPN2-23 Sun, Jan 14, 2001 3:00 PM "Colorado Avalanche at Chicago Blackhawks"
• ESPN2-23 Sun, Jan 14, 2001 10:30 PM "Colorado Avalanche at Chicago Blackhawks"
• ESPN2-23 Mon, Jan 15, 2001 2:00 PM "Dallas Stars at Florida Panthers"
• ESPN2-23 Mon, Jan 15, 2001 11:00 PM "Dallas Stars at Florida Panthers"
• FSWH-21 Tue, Jan 16, 2001 2:00 PM "Los Angeles Kings at Ottawa Senators"
• FSWH-21 Wed, Jan 17, 2001 10:00 AM "Los Angeles Kings at Ottawa Senators"
• FSWH-21 Wed, Jan 17, 2001 2:30 PM "Los Angeles Kings at Toronto Maple Leafs"
• ESPN2-23 Wed, Jan 17, 2001 4:00 PM "Pittsburgh Penguins at Phoenix Coyotes"
• ESPN2-23 Wed, Jan 17, 2001 11:00 PM "Pittsburgh Penguins at Phoenix Coyotes"
• FSWH-21 Thu, Jan 18, 2001 10:00 AM "Los Angeles Kings at Toronto Maple Leafs"
• ESPN-22 Fri, Jan 19, 2001 3:00 PM "Pittsburgh Penguins at Dallas Stars"
• ESPN-22 Fri, Jan 19, 2001 10:30 PM "Pittsburgh Penguins at Dallas Stars"
• FSWH-21 Sat, Jan 20, 2001 8:30 AM "Los Angeles Kings at Carolina Hurricanes"
• ESPN2-23 Sat, Jan 20, 2001 2:00 PM "Florida Panthers at Philadelphia Flyers"
• FSWH-21 Sat, Jan 20, 2001 5:00 PM "Los Angeles Kings at Carolina Hurricanes"
• ESPN2-23 Sat, Jan 20, 2001 11:00 PM "Florida Panthers at Philadelphia Flyers"

SUNDAY, 1/14/2001, 2:15pm HST by Raul
The "I actually had 2 days off this week" edition

Well Ian Lind, the Star-Bulletin reporter behind the ever-so-unjournalistic ilind.net, has posted some pictures he snapped of the new Star-Bulletin offices-in-construction. I must say, the courtyard views do make me somewhat jealous.

Well, for those of you who don't know what Hunter S. Thompson is doing with himself these days (I count myself among these), he's got a column called "Hey Rube" that he's been writing for ESPN. For the proper effect, watch "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" and imagine that the article is being read in Johnny Depp's quite accurate rendition of Thompson's voice. It's good to know that the good doctor of journalism is still keeping busy.

Well it's been a while since our Daisy Duke underoo posting, so here's the latest on the underwear that's fun to wear: Fruit of the Loom will be releasing adult-sized underoos!

Here's a page by some assorted Japanese tweaker who likes to cut up his CPUs. Kind of interesting to see how the CPU is composed. And the page is in English (heh) too.

Well, at first I thought this was just an ordinary movie review, if of a little racier-than-normal movie -- Wadd: The Life & Times Of John C. Holmes. However, any review that contains the line: "Not rated (full- frontal but flaccid male nudity, sex talk, drug use)" warrants posting.

Arstechnica reported that, according to this thread, Somethingawful, that trendy website, is going to shut down. I say good riddance. I never did understand what made people keep coming back for more of crap like JeffK. Once, maybe, I'd laugh. But now, it's like a bad joke that has gone on for too damn long.